Week 6 Story: The Couple's Task

Following his triumph over the demonic Rakshasas, Rama was taken to the court of Janaka, wherein he was met with a great feast fit for the visit of a foreign royal. Rama, adorned in eloquent gilded armor, was abreast with Lakshmana as they entered the great hall of the Rajah. Their presence was immediately felt by all the in room, as though the very spirit of divinity flowed like smoke in the air. On entry, each ceremoniously disarmed themselves, and removed their helmets so that their radiant beauty could be taken in by all.
Janaka, seated at a grand throne at the end of the table, rose to his feet in likewise respect. "Greetings, o anointed guests of my domain. Sit, and feast your hungry bodies to your delight in celebration of your victories." The lord gestured to a pair of seats at either side of his, labelled with the names of the young princes. As each seated themselves, they made merriment with the other guests as the feast swung into its peak tempo. Just before the feast's food was set to arrive, a resounding chorus of trumpets announced the arrival of the princess, Sita. The sight of her beautiful, flowing hair against her red dress caught the attention of the prince Rama immediately, and he invited her to sit next to him for the banquet - a seat she was already expected to take. The two took to one another like children to sweets, and their laughter resounded over the whole of the great hall, bringing smiles to every face in the room. At the end of the feast, as the libations dried and the aristocrats returned to their estates, Janaka - stone-faced as ever - called over the young princes, in the presence of his beloved daughter.
"Let it be known to no man or woman that I am ignorant to the will or desires of my daughter. While I cannot simply allow my beloved to cohort with the prince of a foreign land so quickly, I will allow you to show me your love is true. Rama - before I can place Sita into your care, I must see that your strength is mightier than any mortal warrior. Sita - before I can entrust your safety, I must see that your own strength is capable of matching that of your perhaps betrothed." Janaka swings up his arm in indication to his attendants. With haste, they return bearing a massive, unstrung amber bow, over three meters in length.
"The two of you must string the Bow of Shiva, with naught more than your affinity and your personal strengths."
Undaunted, Rama took hold of the rod, and threw it over his shoulders and began to bend. The heat of Shiva immediately began to scorch his beautiful skin, and the sound and smell curdled the stomachs of the observers. He dropped the rod to the ground, and doubled over in pain - a sight never before seen, even by Lakshmana. Sita was quick to act, and began massaging his skin with an oil from the feast table with haste. Her quick thinking and decision making saved the prince from great scarring, and once again Rama rose to challenge the bow.
Original story of Rama breaking the bow. Alamy Stock photos
This time, he wrapped the pole with leather from his own armor, assisted by Sita, and drew the bow over his back across his shoulders. As he pulled, every muscle in his body began to strain against the divine tool, but Sita brought him relief with her embrace. She coiled her hands around his and pulled with him. As though the Divine one himself intervened, the bow began to bend, and Sita quickly worked a string from end to end, pulling the bow together. Together, they had done what no mortal could.
Author's Note: This story is derived from the breaking of the Bow from the Ramayana, but following in my pattern of trying to make things a little less male-dominated here and there. This time, I tried to keep the characters more intact, but hitting the plot a little differently. 

Comments

  1. Hey Gage,

    Wow this was such an awesome story to read. You do a great job developing your characters as the story unfolds. It is also great to read a story that is truly engaging to the reader. It was a genuinely fun story to read. I do wish your author’s note elaborated a bit more to provide background info to those who did not read the original. Great work.

    -Andy

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  2. Hi Gage,

    I really enjoyed reading your story! To be honest, it took me a couple times reading through the first few paragraphs since I wasn't familiar with any of the names in the story, but once I sorted out who was who I really liked your adjustments to the story. I think it's neat that you changed the story from being just about Rama proving his strength, and instead made the focus of the story how Rama and Sita's love allowed them to accomplish something that no humans ever had before. I think I do agree with Andy, though. A little bit more background information in your author's note would be both interesting and informative!

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  3. Hey, Gage!

    I really enjoyed reading your story, especially how you showed Sita and Rama working together to string the bow! Their love is really well-portrayed in your story and makes it more touching and memorable. I am not familiar with the original, but I found your version engaging and sweet. Your writing style is fun and easy to read and I look forward to seeing what else you write!

    Great job!

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  4. Hey there Gage,
    This story of The Couple’s Task was such a fun and interesting read. You did a great job developing your characters as the story unfolds. It was a very easy read for the readers to follow, as well it was very captivating. I wish the authors not elaborated just a little bit more to give the readers a little bit more info on the original story. I look forward to reading more from you.
    -Drew

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  5. Hey again Gage,
    Great story, too. You have a very smooth and in depth writing style for someone who calls themselves a math nerd. The flow of your writing transitions very well, but I may recommend having a little more seperation between dialogue. It is hard to get a concrete narrative across (though not impossible) primarily through back-to-back dialogue. Still, awesome writing.

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