The Growth Mindset, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Feedback
I used to be a very stuck up and self-important person.
We're talking a very stuck up person.
When I was hit with negative feedback, my response was a combination of defensive statements, counterarguments, projection, and, eventually, lock-down.
"So what changed?" you might ask.
Well, it was a lot of hard learning. A few years ago, my friends decided to come together and air their grievances against me, all at once, no softening of blows. Hearing one of them would have been enough to sour my mood, but four at once was too much for the walls I had built. To make a long story short, I ruined those friendships, and it hurt me a lot, so I started therapy to better understand my own emotions and how to not be a bad friend.
The other major change happened much more subtly. As a judge for Magic the Gathering, one thing we pride ourselves on is our rigorous dedication to feedback. This includes from players, organizers, and other judges, and even self-feedback. As I got deeper into the program, I received more and more feedback, gave more and more feedback, and even got feedback on my feedback. However, only recently did I begin to pull the principles of it down to my core being, and apply them outside the Judge Program.
Today, my goal as a person is to always be better than yesterday. I move to be smarter, to be more ethical, to be more empathetic, to be more jovial, to be more productive. To me, this process is a gradient - individual changes are almost unnoticeable, but the long-term changes are black and white.
A growth mindset is not just helpful or beneficial to a person, but almost downright essential to becoming the best version of oneself. Of course, for many, change is scary, difficult, and painful, so starting to develop a growth mindset is much easier said than done. I know I still have much work to be done, especially on my self-control when it comes to sweets, but I'll keep working toward it.
We're talking a very stuck up person.
When I was hit with negative feedback, my response was a combination of defensive statements, counterarguments, projection, and, eventually, lock-down.
"So what changed?" you might ask.
Well, it was a lot of hard learning. A few years ago, my friends decided to come together and air their grievances against me, all at once, no softening of blows. Hearing one of them would have been enough to sour my mood, but four at once was too much for the walls I had built. To make a long story short, I ruined those friendships, and it hurt me a lot, so I started therapy to better understand my own emotions and how to not be a bad friend.
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| Peter Sellers as Dr. Strangelove in: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Photo from AV Club |
Today, my goal as a person is to always be better than yesterday. I move to be smarter, to be more ethical, to be more empathetic, to be more jovial, to be more productive. To me, this process is a gradient - individual changes are almost unnoticeable, but the long-term changes are black and white.
A growth mindset is not just helpful or beneficial to a person, but almost downright essential to becoming the best version of oneself. Of course, for many, change is scary, difficult, and painful, so starting to develop a growth mindset is much easier said than done. I know I still have much work to be done, especially on my self-control when it comes to sweets, but I'll keep working toward it.
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